I checked my mail today for a cheque and I got bupkiss. Apparently, the head of ACTRA Manitoba saw that I had 2 addresses and sent something of mine to the Vancouver one. I'm hoping it's my tax record for 2003, but I've faced the fact that they sent it out there.

Looks like I'll be making homemade Christmas cards.

My dad wanted me to tag along as he sent off a parcel to my older brother in Brampton, ON. Since my Older brother sent us a box with presents, my parents felt guilty and rushed to get some things together, meanwhile I already made their jewellery. We went to Shopper's Drug Mart to mail off the parcel, and as the woman behind the counter totalled the cost, rattling off our options for payment, my dad, as usual, isn't paying attention. He's staring off somewhere and I can predict what comes next. After her schpeil, he looks at her and says, "So how much is it?" A brief silence passes. I almost wanted to say, "Welcome to my world" when I saw that she had the same look on her face. "I just told you" is all she says then rattles off the prices, again. "How 'bout the second one" I say, just to spare all of us some time. If you've ever worked in the service department, you get all sorts, and my dad will be filed away as one of them for her.

We went to McDonalds (aka Rotten Ronnie's) to snag some food for our little trio. My dad isn't sure what he wants, so he gets what I ordered for mom, one of those McChicken Grilled meal things and he had them both double-sized. I ordered a McVeggie with no mayo. We drive up to the 3rd window when my dad says to me, "Would you work in there?" I knew he was serious too. When I said no way, he said, "You're joking with your life". They didn't have Fast Food joints in Jamaica when he was a youngster, so he's never been up to his testes in grease. Ugh! Now I have that image in my head. I use to work in a Wendy's Restaurant in Edmonton, and my younger brother at the time recommended that I work there instead of McDonalds where I also applied at.

Anyway, we get home, we take our food and gather in the livingroom to eat, when my dad looks at his chicken burger. "I wanted the burger they usually have" so I go parental on him and say, "Didn't I order for mom, and didn't you hear me order for her, and didn't you say you wanted the same, and ...." yada yada yada and he said nothing after that. His memory will get worse from here on in. For a fleeting moment, I remembered the poem "Howl" by Allen Ginsberg, and the first line reminded me of my dad's mind.

It made me think that maybe my brothers will get his memory lapses and attention span when they get older. I wonder if they're worried. I know my younger brother is more aware of it, but my older brother isn't so clued in when he's way out in another province dealing with his little immediate family.

I almost didn't want to write an entry, since I feel so ill, but since I'm focussing on writing this, I almost forget about it.