Well, my mom makes them every year, and I've mastered the art of the vegan version and whipped up some a moment ago. I've just polished off 2 patties and they were delicious! It felt like the holidays were coming over me while I was preparing the filling and then making the pizza dough to wrap them in. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....................

Last night, I did go to the Lesbian social with T who picked me up in her car. I told myself that I needn't worry about any romance blossoming between us, to just be myself and have a good time. On our way there, in the car, I just blithered on about being a lesbian, and all sorts of thoughts and feelings I've bottled up, ending with, "How did we end up on that subject?" I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so it needed to come out. Just wait until I finally have sex with someone, for I'll be all over them like I've been stuck in a men's prison. We wanted to arrive there just early enough to speak without shouting over the loud music, but we were off by 3 minutes. We got in and I was busy checking out the place. I've only ever seen the outside of the building, and even then I only saw the gay bar upstairs, wondering what the downstairs was like. As soon as I saw the curtained stage area, I smiled, imagining many drag king performances in the future for me, but behind the curtain was a wall. A few framed pictures of women in different uniforms and undress, some christmas lights here and there, some paper plates with those snacks combining pretzels, cheerios and shredded wheat flavoured with spices. The crowd came in gradually, and it was as all lesbian bars are:lame. I can't put it any other way, for all lesbian bars are like that. At least the ones I've gone to, and that's not just the Winnipeg ones. I was hoping J would be there, but I didn't expect her to have a girlfriend. Too bad, sine we got to talking and I loved chatting with her. Another woman asked me if T and I were seeing each other. I didn't expect anyone to asked so I didn't have a prepared answer. All I said was that she made it clear that she just wants to be friends. I didn't make it clear to her that that's all I wanted too. I'd be the villain if she did have some deep feelings for me and I came off as an asshole. I'd be ostracized from the group and become part of the lesbian soap opera spoken about at pot-lucks.

T bought me 2 Smirnoff Ice drinks and I was already feeling the buzz off these cheap things. I was dancing with others, trying to lead this girl in a slow dance, and as I wanted, had a good time. I also got a card from a woman who helps others find jobs! I'd have felt more liberated if I weren't living at home. I'll be mentioning this until I leave, then I'll be bitching about how much I miss living at home once I'm gone. I liked talking to J, but even if she were single, I'd end up messing that up too. At least she's friends with the group, so I'll be seeing more of her.

The thing about hanging around a bunch of lesbians is that most have gone out with each other, broken up and then switched partners, staying friends with the ex. It's like a little family of rotating lovers. I'd find that weird, hanging with a group and seeing my ex making out with someone else while I was pretending that everything was fine.

Must be my emotional baggage seeping.

Next wednesday, they're having another party, but I want to go to the New Year's Party.