[Thursday, Jan. 18, 2024 @ 9:16 a.m.]
[ Safe Space in this World ]

I was constantly thinking about how it feels good to be around people that are on the same wavelength, that talking to people who don’t know where you’re coming from is just frustrating. It’s like ramming your head into a wall expecting it to break through and it just won’t. Trying to deal with people asking dumb questions being ignorant, choosing not to understand you is frustrating. I’ve dealt with this as a black person, I’ve dealt with this from men, asking sexist questions and making sexist statements. Dealt with this when it came to my sexuality and I’ve dealt with this as a sexual assault survivor. Sometimes I use the word victim, but I should use survivor because I’ve come this far and I’m still going about my life as is nothing bad happened only I know what happened and I have to deal with it. Too often I’ve been around people who had no idea what I went through and they would make their assumptions and they would say something out of complete ignorance, and when I get upset they become malicious because they are ignorant. When people try to argue about you when they try to argue their ignorance, it is continually frustrating. I hate dealing with ignorant people, but the only real cure, for that isn’t to educate the ignorant but to be around like-minded people. I’ve been around other Black people that’s easy I just have a couple of friends and maybe family member to chat with I’ve been in a company of women whether they were gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, etc. I rarely get to be around other sexual assault survivors and process my pain. I wanted to do that, but it is so difficult because there is so much secrecy and so much shame around it. Part of me wanted to volunteer for a rape crisis centre but I don’t know if that would be a good idea? Plus it’s very difficult to , find a group where they will just automatically accept you. They have to have boundaries because they don’t know who they’re letting in. There could be very ignorant people out there, trying to gain access just to find their victim to torment them again or there could be people that think sexual assault is something that is a right for the perpetrator . I’m rambling, but I feel like I need to heal this wound that has not healed. It is been almost impossible. I could find such a place and there were times where I thought I could talk to somebody about it but their own trauma is triggered also. I don’t know where to go? There was another Diaryland blog (%%speak-out%%) on here where you could post things, But it has less activity these days. Plus I would rather talk to an actual human being. Anyways, I just needed to vent about that. It’s also very frustrating to see other peoples Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, blog, or other social media, where I see a lot of ignorance About anything and everything I am. It’s heartbreaking that people just don’t want to understand. They believe they are not capable because they seem to think it’s so much trouble and I think they think of it as an inconvenience to them that they have to educate themselves so that they don’t say ignorant things. Even overheard long time white male friend complain, how you just can’t say anything these days anymore. I’m supposed to suppress my feelings every single time somebody is being completely insensitive or politically incorrect? I’m supposed to walk around their little world to make them comfortable. Meanwhile, they are being disgusting? Anyways, I am asking for a safe place in this world where I’m not always being hurt.

Safe Space in this World - Thursday, Jan. 18, 2024

Requoting Somethin’. - Wednesday, Dec. 06, 2023

The Truth Will Arise! - Friday, Jun. 11, 2021

While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019

He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019




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