I got paid for extra work today and spent only about 40 bucks. I also received my bill to renew my apprenticeship with ACTRA, so I had to save until Jan.5/04. Now, I have 14 bucks in the bank.

I'm back where I started.

When I woke up this morning, my body felt better than the day before, stretching out and feeling like I was over the body-aches and headache, but this morning, the same symptoms came over me again. I don't know how many fluids I'd consumed, but I seem to be improving.

When I was at the mall today, I felt bummed out, thinking that it's another year of cheap gifts from me and no job. Ever have one depressing thought, then have an avalanche of past depressive thoughts come down on you? That happens to me and I struggled to push them away. For a moment I hated christmas, but once I got my shopping done, I just wanted to get home.

Now to worry about the New Year.

My younger brother got the mini-camera working on his computer and sent me a photo; he looked really tired but it looked promising enough to believe in infomercials.

I keep imagining that I'll be deathly ill on christmas day, or the flu will overwhelm me so horribly that I'll never awaken.