In the changeroom, 2 of the actresses were talking about deodorant, about the scented ones and how strong they are. One actress asks, "So why don't you use unscented?" The other actress is going on about how it might still have a scent, but then I butt in with, "Have you ever thought of using an unscented one?" The other actress giggles while the first one puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "Welcome to the conversation".

I do that sometimes.

My brain floats off into another world, then when I decide to come back, I pick up a tiny bit of the chit-chat and say something that reveals what an idiot I am.

I have to be a comedian, to detract from the fact that I say stupid things by accident, then others can't tell what's a joke and what's serious.

I felt down about being stupid, and it won't dislodge itself from my memory. I hate when my insecurities creep up on me and nestle within my frontal lobes.

I'm still feeling stupid. I hate doing things that make me look stupid. I hate being laughed at.

I'll get over it, or make a joke about it, like I did earlier, just to look like it's no skin off my nose.

I'll be doing more stupid things in the future, but some will matter and some won't.

The worst thing would be to die of a stupid death, like falling asleep in the bathtub and drowning, or preparing food with a knife and slicing a huge enough gash on me that I bleed to death, or jaywalking and getting hit by a car. I don't want to die, but I especially don't want to die stupidly.

I can't wait to look back on this, in the distant future and laugh at this day.