The second show had a decent crowd. I could tell there were a couple of mentally retarded kids, for they were making weird noises and doing that uninhibited laugh/hand-clapping thing they do. Of the entire 30-something bums in the seats, they weren't as responsive as the 3 people earlier, and that includes the sleeping kid! At least when their show was over, they wanted a photo with us. I mean, hell, it was only the 2 kids and a cast of 8 while the mother greatfully snapped our photo.

I don't know how the straight men on "Queer As Folk" do it. I'm referring to the sex scenes they do with the men, despite their preference. I have to dance with the married guy, and I can hardly look him in the eyes doing it. I dance with him 2x in the show, and although I do look him in the eyes, I always end up looking away, unable to hold a romantic gaze: I'm incapable of acting like I'm in love. I need to remind myself that it's only acting. I'm not actually in love with him or misleading him. I suppose it's my own intimacy issues in general. I should actually look at him, like he were my everything, disregarding whatever baggage I have. He is a decent guy, and he is cute, so it shouldn't be so hard. It's not like this guy offends me, politically, physically, morally or hygienically. A good actor puts aside their issues and plows away at the scene, and I shouldn't let mine get in the way.

Well, it's 5 more shows to go; one tomorrow, 3 on Friday and our last show on Saturday. Near the end of any show I do, there's always a twinge in my heart whenever the end is near.

After the last show, "Daddy Zeke", played by an androgynous 25-year-old, and I went to Grant Park Mall and saw, "Seabisquit". 'Twas very good and touching. Toby McGuire has a certain Tom Hanks quality about him. "Daddy Zeke" is a very short Asian woman, and goes braless. She's small breasted, but I accidently saw down her shirt and thought she didn't have anything there. I felt so guilty for seeing that much though. I'd hate to think that someone is sneaking a peak at me, unless I really like them. I even thought that maybe she "bats for my team", but she mentioned a boy she had a crush on, so I ruled that out. Just when I was starting to feel relaxed with her, she outs herself as straight. My closet door slammed on that one. I wasn't interested in her romantically. I just wanted to make some lesbian friends, you know, to show me the ins and outs of the community in Winnipeg. I'll have t be more extroverted if I'm to do it myself.

It's a good thing I came home on time. While watching "That '70's Show", there was a weather warning, especially in Winnipeg it said, and now the sky went from baby blue to pitch black in half an hour, as I type this. The sky is rumbling like my stomach craving a midnight snack. Who knows how dramatic the skies will get?