I could live in my bathrobe/coveralls/bigt-shirt and never leave the house for days. I've actually gone just a couple of days without ever stepping outside. Sometimes the sunlight hurts my eyes when I have to adjust to the strangeness of the outdoors.

If I were independently wealthy, I'd have my groceries delivered, my DVD's ordered online, and my bills paid online also, but I'd live the rest of my days indoors.

What's out there for me?

I try to keep aware that isolation is dangerous, but right now, I feel safe. I want to feel more like an independent woman, but I don't. I feel far from one. I feel that all the time I was kidding myself into thinking I was self-sufficient, I was really a leech, depending on others to help me out financially, like a stray puppy. My finaances are nil; I got my bank statement today, and when I use to have 10 bucks in my chequing account is now minus 2 something, and the 6 bucks that use to sit in my savings is at 0.04.

I had to ask my mom for bus fare for tomorrow's 2nd job interview.

From now until tomorrow, I can park myself in from of the TV, watching late night talk shows, ponder on which DVD to watch, then watch some more TV until I fall asleep. I mark the days according to what's on TV: I know it's Thursday because I saw "Friends", "Will & Grace", so who needs a TV Guide for that?

My latest creative outlet was making wire candle-holders. The fleshy part of my right palm is tender from when the handle of the pliers pressed into it. The pressure from twisting the shaping the wire wasn't an issue until I finished my 3 holders, that stand next to me as I type this.

After this, I'm off to my room to veg out, to possibly have another dream where Ashton Kutcher says, "You've been Punk'd!" That was a dream from the night before, but I can't recall what led up to that.