I knew he's never recover. I was alone with him at the hospital earlier this week, telling him that all the prayers in the world didn't help and that he's going to die. I told him I loved him and that we'll miss him. I wanted to feel like I'd released my pain, but it's still there. Other people were trying to be positive, but I just kept up a brave face. Some people's denial is unshakable until they hit that realization too.

My daddy is going and he's not coming back.

Whatever speech I give, if I give one, it won't be religious, but it won't be screaming that I don't believe in god either. I'll just scribble out something that should express what needs to be said.

It seemed like we were holding onto his body and the rest of him left us the day he seized.

He's already gone and we couldn't accept it.

He'll be officially gone before the end of this year.

No miracles.

You can pray all you want. Whatever comforts you all.