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Well, just when I think I'm a spinster for life, I get a phone call from my butch friend T. She wanted to attend a barbeque today and left a message on my cellphone. I could mean anything really. Maybe she heard I slept with a guy and wants to have an intervention or something. I don't know. I was out and about with my dad at a Jamaican thing celebrating Canada day. Pretty lame in enthusiasm. There doesn't seem to be enough spirit. I saw my uncle's ex-wife there, who stared at me when I wore my shorts: mine must've been the shortest in the whole building! Well, my dad got out of the house since leaving the hospital. He's a little on the feeble side, but he can walk around and stuff. He's his old self again, but there's more vulnerability in him that's coming out. It was also wonderful the way some people came out of the woodwork to see that he was alright, some expressed compassion. It was also disgusting to see who didn't reach out: a couple of siblings who barely phoned. My mom was at the hospital everyday, same with my younger brother. I went most of the time until I saw his strength gathering momentum. When he came home, I was the first to hug him and make him feel welcome. I started a new job and at first I was feeling aweful because I hated being at the learning stage. You're fumbling and trying to get everything right, making more mistakes. It's frustrating, no matter how patient the other workers are, I'm still disappointed in myself for not absorbing all that I've been instructed upon. I keep thinking I should be in my room pouring over the catalogues and notes and other reference materials to get it all so that what mistakes I do make are as minimal as possible. Even on my last day at Wendy's, I missed the fact that I was going through the motions so easily because of the years of knowledge. When they say knowledge is power, I'm feeling powerless right now. I worried I'd get fired because I wasn't working out like they hoped. I kept thinking I disappointed them. The one girl who's training me seems to have it all down and is very good to me. There's one girl who's pretty chatty and opinionated, but she's cute. There's this one soft-spoken girl who's so beautiful that I could fall in love with her, but I won't. I'm not testing my bad luck on her. I haven't taken advantage of my employee benefits yet: 20% discount on things! While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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