I don't surround myself with luscious ladies often enough. I'm not that "out" to many people, especially at work. Others can talk openly and freely about their lovers, their wives/husbands and their straight sex lives, but I'm baffled that no one even questions me. I wonder if anyone gossips about me at work? One girl even suggested that I hook up with the GM, who's got the same hair as I do, meanwhile he's engaged. I don't want another man ever again! In fact, my new year's resolution is: No heterosexual sex all year!
I think I can easily swing that. Hell, I've swung the "no sex" thing all year.
I feel funny about pursuing a sex life while living under my parent's roof. Nevermind the fear of bringing them home. What about explaining to someone who wants to come over and I tell them that I live with my parents? Would you go home with someone who does? If you wanted to pursue a relationship with someone who was in their 30's, lived at home and has one parent who's homophobic, how would you handle it? It's a wonder I was still living in Vancouver for so long. I knew I'd feel sentenced and restricted once I came back. Maybe it's just an excuse to protect myself from the consequences of sex? It's also a wonder I'm so jubilant on the job: all this unused sexual energy is coming out of my ears. One straight girl I was chatting with mentioned that her Chinese horoscope sign was a snake. When I said I was a monkey, she says, "You can play with me." I knew what she meant, but my libido quietly said, "Is that an invite?" Sometimes I feel like a bird wriggling out of its cages despritely. Too many single good-looking youths at work.

I've got all this free time with no shows to do until January, then I'm doing the Cabaret again in the spring. Until then, I'll be fantasizing about indiscriminate bisexual orgies. I'll be eye-ballling even homeless people, wondering, "I bet they don't smell so bad once you screw them?" or "That grime is so sexy!" or some sort of phrase that'll blind me from the fact that I'd perform a desprite act of lust and get arrested for it. Well, not really, but the frightening image lingers in the corner of my brain.

I hope I don't fall asleep in my work uniform again tonight. For a vegan, I shouldn't smell like salty meat, then slather my bed in it.
Ew.