[Saturday, Apr. 09, 2005 @ 8:35 p.m.]
[ What A Shitty Motherfuckin' Month! [So Far] ]

I'm not good at expressing my anger, my feelings in general, in public. My anger has been rising and sometimes I want it to unleash so I can feel some release.
  • My rehearsal didn't happen today because the director had car troubles while coming back from out of town.
  • My actor's group has one nut job being a bitch, causing some tension, making people leave. I'm so close to quitting the group too.
  • My feelings about only 3 shifts with 4 hours at work is starting to get to me, and it takes alot to make me angry.
  • My dad's memory lapses are getting worse which frustrates conversing with him all the more.
  • My dad always habitually locking the storm door that won't open with a key, and his habit of forgetting to turn on the outside light when I come home late. He thinks he's being safe but suppose I was being chased by someone and the door was locked? He takes forever to unlock it. The worst part is he's unremorseful and unapologetic about it, then he looks baffled about why I or my mom would be mad about this!
  • "Sin City" wasn't the spectacular movie I thought it would be. The visual effects were stunning, but the stories weren't strong enough for me.
  • The fact that I control my anger on a daily basis will catch up to me someday. I fear there's a monster inside that'll cause too much damage and I might enjoy it.

What a shitty week! Shittiest thing is, the weather is beautiful outside and my mood has clouded over its enjoyment. When the rehearsal was a bust, I tried to eat the rest of my vegan "cheese" cake, but I just felt the anger build. At our last rehearsal, I requested that the director arrive 15 minutes earlier because that's the law of the theatre, but not only was he not there, but the other performer and I waited for 30 minutes. As I told the other guy, "If he hasn't arrived in half an hour, he's not coming", so he took my cell number down in case I needed contacting. The funny thing about this guy is, when I shared my dessert with him, as was my intention to share with the rest of the group, he drops the he has a girlfriend. I ignore this. I wasn't going to attack him or hit on him. It's like if I said I was a lesbian, he'd have taken offence knowing I was telling him to back off. I'm PMS'ing today, so this is responsible for my anger, but I don't care. I wish I were more of a bitch!

While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019

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My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019

It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019

I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014

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