The other 2 showed up and we chit-chatted for an hour and a half. Before arriving though, I wondered if I should've mentioned my new job at Wendy's. This stupid thing is bugging the hell out of me, but I was bursting. I asked what everyone did for a living and as they talked, I was welling up with the courage to blurt it out. The one guy looks at me, indicating my turn to spill on my occupation. I brace myself. I worried I'd be in for a political flogging. "I got a new job, but..." and I felt apologetic, "I did it because I was desperate", as if I became a prostitute," so I now, get this, work at Wendy's!" The one guy who came with his girlfriend says, "You mean Wendy's?" and I say yes. They were quite forgiving but baffled. They didn't comment but I still felt like some kind of traitor. I tried to rationalize that I will make myself a spy and make notes on what it's like to be a vegan working for the enemy. "Have you tried other places?" asks one guy, and every other suggestion he could hurl my way I just lobbed them back with, "Yes, I've applied there". I haven't even started and I feel like this. I'm making a big deal over selling out. I'm just wondering what my mental state will be like once I actually have to endure the atmosphere of meat and all. Maybe I sound crazy. Maybe my veganism will break and I'll be so anti-vegan that I'll be burned in effigy on World Vegan Day or on my birthday.

Why is this driving me crazy?

Anyway, I'd gotten a message in my account at gaycanada.com for a friend to hang out tonight. I phoned her and was only able to leave a message and say I couldn't. I'll feel better once I get money. Even if they say it's okay and that they'll pay this and that, I hate not having money and I hate depending on friends to pay my way all the time. I received my bank statement on one of my accounts has been inactive for over a month.

This is why I applied at Wendy's, so I'd have something! At least I'll have a paycheck. At least I can spend money on myself and on others when I can. I can buy birthday gifts for people and not feel so cheap. I won't have to feel like a sponge living at home or an embarrassment to my brothers. I won't have to resort to stealing busfare from my dad's plastic container out of added shame for asking, since he told me to ask mom instead.

Well, this month should be profitable.