Prince started off singing "Purple Rain", then Beyonce joined him, joining him in "Baby I'm A Star" then "Let's Go Crazy". I was so envious of Beyonce. As much as I love Prince, She was a parking ticket with the words "F.I.N.E." written all over her! Since Janet Jackson declined to apologise at the Grammy's for her fiasco last Sunday, Patti LaBelle stepped in althought I still wish Janet were there.

Best Contemporary R&B Album presented by Gwen Stefani who looked hot as usual and Quentin Tarantino. Q: Who thinks that man is attractive? A: Nobody! Too bad, because when he calls "action", he'd definitely get it in droves, ya know? Winner: Beyonce Knowles for "Dangerously In Love".

My girl, Ellen Degeneres: cool suit; I don't care what anyone says about her style of dress[suit(?)] She tends to ramble in her jokes though.

Yeah, 40 years since The Beatles inflicted their music onto the Northern American youth and adult's last nerve (I'm talking about the parents; I love The Beatles and would choose them over Elvis anyday!) who were honoured by Dave Matthews, Vince Gill, Pharrel Williams on drums and Sting, all singing, "I saw her standing there".

Queen Latifah one of my favourite celebrities who's movie "Bringing Down The House" I could've done without introduced Christina Aguillera singing "Beautiful" all covered up in a suit. I was expecting her to do a Britney Spears by ripping off the suit to reveal the same caucasian-colored outfit, but she was finished then outta sight! She should steer away from trying to out-do Madonna and Britney and focus on her beautiful voice. Loved her hairstyle, but black doesn't suit her that well.

John Mayer & Mathew Perry joked flaccidly about being a musical duo that didn't work, and neither did that bit, introduced Best Pop Performance by a Duo or a Group w/Vocal. Winner: "Underneath It All" by No Doubt. Gwen wrote the song in tribute to her pretty husband, Gavin, getting a little emotional. Beck introduced The White Stripes in his usual broken lyrical style. I love their music! Who'd've thunk that only a drum set (I also loved that the drumset looked like those creamy strawberry hard candies! Mmmm...sweet music indeed!) and a guitar could blast out such wicked tunes? And Jack went into a wicked solo too that impress the audience. A Grrrrrrrrreat moment, but not the last of the evening.

B.B.King, Steven Tyler & Joe Perry Mentioned The Funk Brothers as receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award: Hardly ever heard of them, maybe in referrence or something. Best Rap Album: Outkast. What's wrong with Andre 3000 that he took so long to get to the stage then says a measley, "Thank you" and walks off the stage?

Pffffft!

C.S.I.'s Marg Helgenberger (Mmm......burger!) introduced Martina McBride: I don't pay attention to Country music. My attention just glosses over. Same with sporting events and political jibber-jabber, it all puts me to sleep or loses my interest.

Amber Camblin(?), Amy Lee and Jakob Dylan recognised Carole King and Gerry Goeffin for their Lifetime Achievement Award then introduced Best Male Pop Vocal: Justin Timberlake! Johnny Cash and Warren Zevon was robbed! At least Justin apologized in his humble way, saying "What occurred was unintentional", yadda-yadda-yadda, and he even pointed out someone in the audience defensively to behave: The stress of it all is getting to him. I wondered if he "consoled" Janet and vice versa!. Another Beatles tribute: It's the Friggin' Beatles show!

Patti LaBelle, the woman who replaced Janet, and who's boob we're glad didn't pop out, introduced a salute to Luther Vandross. I've never been a major fan of his or cared for his music, but I sympathize like most everyone else. The beautiful Alicia Keys, who's voice and latest song I absolutely love, poured her heart and soul into her moment without hamming it up, and for once, no braids! Luther's mom's favourite song, "Dance With My Father" was sung by the unfortunate Celine Dion, also dealing with a father who'd just recently passed on, dealing gracefully with technical glitches. I sense a job opening backstage....then Luther himself sent a video message, gracing us with a song near the end of his speech. I can't wait for the day when he appears on the next award show all healthy while the audience gives him a standing ovation.

Madonna brings on, and thanks for introducing her to her husband, Sting, warbling through "Roxanne" (I sense Stewart Copeland is fuming over the rights of that song and chucking his drumsticks at the TV in his cold-water flat), then along comes Sean Paul to sing along: not bad actually, who also did a reggae version of said song. Not bad at all: Is Sting wearing a kilt?

Hillary Duff, Paulina whatever-her-name-is and Brian McKnight: Best Female Pop Vocal-Christina Aguillera! Who was hoping that dress would cause another scandal? I had my fingers crossed.

Sarah Jessica Parker introduces Justine Timberlake and Arturo Sandalvar(?) in "Senorita" which I love. The boy can play an instrument! Or was he?

Imagine being in the audience to witness this whole show? Us poor slobs way out here only get to see it on the boobtube, but it's better live, eh?

Ellen Degeneres and her sparkly suit brings on the widowed Olivia Harrison and Yoko Ono Lennon: the first woman was eloquent, yet Yoko took too many pauses and played on my impatience. She was looking like a grandma. Would've been better had Paul McCartney and Ringo Starrappearred in person, but no, they were live via satellite. Ringo was classy and Paul was casually playful.

Queen Latifah Introduces Black Eye Peas: that girl's skirt sure is short. Whoever was right up front of the catwalk sure got an eyefull and blocked out the rest of the show, no doubt. She had the nerve to wear leg-warmers: if this is a sign of things to come, we're in for a fashion nightmare! The other rapper looked like he was competing in a Wyclef Jean lookalike contest-freaky looking! Justin jammed with them, almost unnoticed: how subtle.

Keith Urban(?), & Joshua Bell mentioned a Lifetime Achievement Award to Van Cliburn, along with Doc Watson: Yawn!

Best Female Country Vocal:June Carter-Cash. Jordan Carter-Cash accepting on behalf: saw no resemblence at all.

Cuba Gooding Jr., who's usually robust and extroverted was looking rather stiff, like he had an embarrasing itch he couldn't scratch in public. Another Lifetime Achievement Awarded to: Ella Jenkins, who was sitting in the audience, all smiley and everything! Cuba introduced Beyonce's performance of "Dangerously In Love", which was extravagant, capped off with a dove that flew in for the show to nibble out of her hand. Now that's a well-behaved bird, good training! What were those purple streaks on her face? She's pretty enough, no need to add that!

Nora Jones & Sean Austin honouring Artie Shaw and marion McParlaine and a trustee award of some sort. Best New Artist: Evanescencea. Sorry 50 cent, can't feel any cheaper than going for an award you didn't win. Maybe he went to repair her dress with his bling-bling.

Now for my second favourite part of the show (the first will come up): Samuel L. Jackson preaching the wonders of funk music, rousing the audience in a frenzy over the next act. Earth, Wind & Fire looking heavier and older, but still funky singing "Shining Star", my favourite one of theirs; Robert Randolph & The Family Man, some band I've never heard of getting their moment when the organist jumped and kicked away his bench and went Krazy legz on us at the same time. Go Man, Go! Parliament f.George Clinton blasted onto the stage and went into the audience. The ghost of Jimi Hendrix called, he said to stop stealing from his closet and put his clothes back the way they found them. For all you Canadians, replace Jimi Hendrix with Mr. Dressup's Tickle Trunk. Bootsy Collins stained the moment with his get-up and platform shoes, but could you hear him? What does he sound like? Samuel L. Jackson got in on it by singing along: He'll be up all night, talking his wife's ear off over the whole experience I bet. Hell, I would!

OutKast sang,"I Like The Way You Move" with that guy dancing around with an umbrellaa: now the group is jinxed - can't have an umbrella indoors, foo!

Snoop Dogg & Jason Alexander flaccidly joking about being married to Britney: does anyone even remember that little bit? Why did Snoop Dogg have a sidekick with a goblet on stage? And what were they drinking? They brought on The Foo Fighters & Chick Corea, who looked like Brian Wilson did during his mental breakdown. He crawled out of bed just a half-hour before the show: Meh.

Mary J. Blige & Michael McDonald (Mmmm...Did somebody say McDonalds?) acknowledging "The Neptunes" for winning Producer of the Year. Thank you for cutting it short on that one. Album of the Year: Coldplay, dressed very casual: this is the man Gwyneth is going to marry? He's itching himself. Better not let the baby catch it either.

Tony Bennett & Missy Elliot introduced Sarah McLachlan & Alison Kraus. Would've been a good idea to cut out the rest of the band and have only Sarah's voice and Alison's fiddle playing, but Sarah's dress was enviable: I'd wear it.

Sharon & Ozzy (in a neck brace) Osborne announce Best Rock Duo or Group w/Vocal: "Disorder in the House" by Warren Zevon & Bruce Springsteen. Son of Warren accepted on behalf, then gives a shout-out to "BRUCE!"

As far as memoriam goes, I didn't know that Tony Thompson, who played drums for "The Powerstation" died! Their CD still rocks! I was saddest when they showed Nina Simone though. Capping off the memoriam were a group, along with Warren's son, singing one of his songs, "Keep Me In Your Heart For Awhile".

Andy Williams, (who's fortunate he didn't make it into the memoriam this year, yet, uttered Prince's name and aroused the crowd. Anything for attention, eh Andy?) honoured Pierre Cosette, who was the producer of the Grammy's.

My notes are confusing. Who's Orrin Keetnoost? Did I spell that right?

Why did I start this entry? I have to finish it now!

Carole King, Kirk Elick(?) & "Baby Face" introduced Song of the Year to quote Carole King, "Without lyrics, we'd all be saying lalalalala; without music, we'd be making speeches", and the other two were vocally and visibly impressed. Winner: Luther Vandross & Richard Marx for "Dancing With My Father". Richard gave a touching speech on behalf of himself and Luther. Awwwww.

Some guy comes on, Neil Portnow, rambling some boring speech and I spaced out for a moment, pitching the What's The Download? website. Can't get away from advertising. Suddenly, Jack Black comes on in a mysterious way, perplexing us all in a science-fiction sort of way, transitioning into a First Nations Scene, followed by drumming. A burst of "Hey Ya!" by Outkast comes on and gets me jumping and wiggling all over the place. I can't imagine getting tired of this song yet, and I hope I never do! What was cool was a marching band came and accompanied the act. What's with the green colored outfits?

Faith Hill & Carlos Santana both wore white. They called each other first, didn't they?

Sonny Rollins honoured with a John Coltrane Lifetime Achievement Award.

Album of the Year went to Outkast! I loved that the two members hugged so long! I thought it was touching. More man-on-man contact (I can watch Queer As Folk for plenty of that)! I felt my eyes moisten with joy as Andre 3000 pulled out his speech on a tiny piece of paper. His son, Seven, mothered by Erykah Badu, stood with his proud and emotional papa.

After that, Faith Hill wished everyone a good-night and it was all over, th' end.

I thought it was the best award show I'd seen in awhile, since last year's Critic's Choice Awards. Speaking of which, I'll make a note of it in my calendar.