The term I hear most often is, "That's so gay", unbeknownst to anyone that a gay person is in their presence. I feel like a spy, but at the same time I feel like a coward for not saying anything. They'd only turn on me and ask, "What, are you a dyke?". Like I'm not suppose to expect them to be quiet about it. I know they'd make a big deal out of it or blab to others and spread stupid rumours about their lack of knowledge. I just want to go there and work then leave. I don't go there to pick up chicks or hand out pamphlets converting everyone to being gay or anything. Most of them already make a stupid deal about me being vegan. "I hate tofu" one girl said. So don't eat it! I'd rather work in a place that has that sticker, the rainbow one, where they tolerate homosexuality, but who knows what my parents would think, or anyone else I know.

I get too paranoid about this. I want to feel liberated if ever I'm outed someday, but I fear my actual reaction. You never know how you'll react until the event happens. Who knows? Maybe I'll actually walk in the pride parade this year, just to break through my paranoia of discovery.

Another thing that urks me at work: I made up some business cards with the title Actor under my name. This one guy wants me to come over to do his hair like mine and when I gave him my card to call me, he notices the title. "Don't you mean actress?" which I think is a stupid question. It was no accident on my part. I meant to put it there. Then he rattles off masculine titles like, "fireman, policeman, postman" while I overlap with,"firefighter, police officer, postal carrier". I mean, what about singer? Dancer? Many actresses call themselves Actor. Whoopi Goldberg once said "Actress sounds like 'Oh, what a good little actress' [with a little pat on the head], while Actor sounds more respectful." I prefer to be called an actor, otherwise I sound like a newbie who's doing this for a kick or something. I'll call myself whatever I want.