"Man/Father" wasn't there yesterday, which gave the Director a looser tongue, commenting on the kid's "talent", on how naive this poor deluded boy was. I'm still amazed that local Casting Director J.H. wanted to see this boy attempt to act in front of him, passing himself off as an actor. I hope he gets it together soon, for we don't need any weak links in this show. We'll be out on stage like trapeze artists on a tight-wire, and if he falls, so do we. I need to work on my lines, so I'd better not jinks myself, otherwise, The Director will include me in his 'bitch chronicles' alongside "Man/Father", dubbing me "Corizelda".

For some amusement, I'll go over to Chick and be amazed at what people pass off as Christianity these days. "There is no reality, only perception" is so accurately projected.

Anyway, off to cram my lines down. Speaking of which, I've never studied this hard in school, EVER! This is an obvious sign.

My fantasies need to have boobs and pussy: another sign.

If I feel I have no where to go, prayer is never an option: another sign.

A sign for what, you say?

Who I am. Whenever I feel like my identity, my beliefs, my chosen career in life are being questioned or doubted, feeling that other non-supportive people are adding more toxic energy to my brain, I think of these three things. I don't believe in god, I love sex with women, and I want to be an actor. I'll always feel challenged, made to feel like my thoughts and feelings don't matter, but these 3 things prevail.