Last night T, my date from Wednesday, took me to a christmas party. It was a B.Y.O B, the 'B' standing for booze, beer and babes. A few days ago, she made it clear that she was only looking for a friend and that she wasn't looking for a relationship. Somehow I felt compelled to tell her that as long as I lived at home, I'm not dating or having sex with anyone until I have a job and move out. I was upfront and told her that I hadn't told my dad because he's low on tolerancy. I wonder if I ruined her plans to seduce me? She was in my body space at the party, being close, glancing at me and sometimes touching me. I wasn't too uncomfortable, but sometimes I'd look at her to detect a mutual spark: diddley-squat. I wanted to, but it didn't come over me until I saw 2 other women. J, with long hair was quite androgynous, and I like her sense of humour. I only got to introduce myself to her when she was leaving the party: Damn! Another woman, L, looked fine, then she was kissing another woman, whom I didn't realize was her girlfriend: Double-Damn! Too bad I didn't feel that way for T, even when there was another girl in her lap.

T drove me and 2 teenaged straight girls home; they wanted to leave because, in their words "We need some penis!" and we didn't satisfy them. J says, "....and that's reason enough why I'm gay". There was an 'amen' all around at that statement. As the 2 girls were dropped off, T decides to check out the newest nightclub, "Desire", that just opened 3 nights ago. She paid my cover and my coat check ticket and a few hours later, we're dancing and chatting in lounging rooms. I went to the bathroom, and at every gay bar I go to, the bathrooms always have a mixed crown in there. As I got out of the stall, 2 guys were leaning against the sink. One of them complimented my hair, while the other one recognising me from Vancouver. A did drag out there also and we both worked with another drag queen: I hadn't seen this boy since 2 years ago, so it was a minor reunion. I was getting sleepy and weary from so much dancing. I wanted to go home, but when I said that it wouldn't be a big deal if I lived alone, T says, "...but you're 35 years only, chuffnutt." Yeah, I know I'm a big girl, but I still didn't want my parents to worry. My mom asked me this morning if everything was alright because she had a terrible dream about me last night. I reassured her that everything's fine and kissed her on the forehead.

In the car ride, T told me that she had a great time and liked talking to me, that she thinks I'm a great person. I knew what I was suppose to say next but avoided my cue. We hugged and she gave me a lingering look. I got out of the car and waved good-bye.