On my way home, I bumped into the last director I worked with on the street. When I wanted directions for a locatiion, he said, "It's near Gio's", one of the more popular gay bars in Winnipeg, then he says, "I'll take you there some day, and we'll bring S too!" He burst out laughing, and I joined in: I'm not the only one who's gaydar picks up on S's closetted self. He reminds me of the skit on Saturday Night Live, with Dana Carvey portraying, "The Effeminate Heterosexual!" constantly denying he's gay, being married with kids. He's the only one who doesn't see it, or won't see it. He's more gay than I am, and he's got what most straight men would kill for. It's ironic, doncha think?

The last important thing I did was write a cover letter to a Law Enforcement Academy. Some schools hire actors to help train their students before being hit with the reality of people's unexpected reactionss. I did such a thing several years ago, at U.B.C. for the Law Department. I acted like I needed representation for custody of my kid and stuff, and that I was gay, then I had to repeat the same scenario to 2 other groups. The Instructors would ask me how they did later. In between breaks, I'd chat with this other actress, who later appeared in a few films. I never got to see how she or any of the other actors did, but we got $25 bucks out of it. I saw her in, "Waydowntown" at the film festival. It's not like we're close friends, but we just encountered each other now and then. I was watching StarTV a few months ago, and she was being spot-lighted when she was getting ready for an awards show. My teeth were grinding. The envy I get from seeing other acquaintences succeeding will kill me, if not my parents pressure to conform to "a normal job".