I get there and hear my name 3 times before I realize it's not in my head. My longtime actor friend, who's also a Vancouver survivor like me, had his crutches and beer. I've tried to talk him into the idea of writing his own one man show, since he's got many a story in his life to talk about. Everytime he recalls a moment in his life, I want to hand him a blank book and pen and get him to jot this all down. I should get a recorder and tape all our conversations so he'd have some material to work with, if he thinks he's got nothing. Anyway, this night, I decided to pounce upon the stage, realizing I may be okay or I may flop tonight. I had to disregard my friend's presence, since friends can affect you performance. The thing about the performance space is that it's too small and there's not enough room to roam around. You end up feeling like a talking head when you're up there. I'm use to taking up space, running around and stetching myself over the whole area, but this spot was claustrophobic. I just needed an excuse to be onstage more, to work off my anxiousness. After a break, the regulars pounced on stage and were amusing. I'm always watching it as a performer and picking it apart when I do. Their strength is characterization though. It was pretty loosely structured.
My friend drove me home, filling my ears with more tales from his lost youth. I was tired from work and the whole day, so I had to reassure him that my yawning was from that and not from his company. I've even thought of suggesting he get an online diary, but then I figured I'd have to tell him about mine. I don't know who I'd trust with this. I want this to last as long as I can make it without being discovered. Some people's diaries get discovered and intruded upon and the diary becomes locked or it's discontinued. I get tired of archiving the pages by month and I think I'm running out of room.
Well, it's my parent's anniversary. I wonder what their lives would really be like if they were divorces? I'd rather see them happier rather than live the rest of their lives miserable with each other.