[Monday, Apr. 21, 2003 @ 12:19 p.m.]
[ Holy Emotional Baggage! ]

Waking up to the tv is comforting. There's something to greet me upon awakening, and a good show might be on. I see "Bosom Buddies" on the Comedy Network, and witness the birth of Tom Hank's career and the wonder of what happened to Peter Scolari's. I was a kid when that show came out, and my friend Shelley Barr aka Smelly Barf, loved that show.

That show and its theme song, "My Life" by Billy Joel always takes me back to elementary school, and when I was the new kid, there was this double-dutch skipping game where you had to chase someone and skip at the same time. The one skipping would call you by your nick name, so I was pronounce, Lou, which later evolved into Lou Lou, then finally, Lou Lou Belle. It was the closest to feeling like I belonged, until Mitch aka Michelle formed a group to meet at her place after school. I assumed that I was in, but my friend Tracy said I wasn't invited. Thanks, good friend, for being so forward and blunt about it. Her sister didn't like me anyway, and those feelings started to bleed into our friendship. Always approaching me and asking, "What are you doing here?" It didn't matter where I was, she was a sliver under my fingernail: bitch.

After our family moved to Edmonton in '81, I never kept in touch with her. Even if I did, her sister Cheryl would've read the letters or destroyed them or something. I never really understood why she hated me. It shouldn't matter now, but some things from the past are like a permanent stain. If I handled my anger better, I wouldn't be holding so much of it in all the time, presenting myself as civil. I hate getting angry. I guess it's a control thing. I must find a way to unleash my anger better, so the Red Beast within is tamed. Sometimes I wish I could do without emotions all together.


While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019

He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019

My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019

It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019

I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014




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