Go see The Matrix.

It was peaceful yet weird to have the phone silent today. I got so use to having the cordless with me, while in the computer room, that it didn't dawn on me until later that nobody would get through. My younger brother tried calling me today to see The Matrix, but since it wasn't possible on the land line, he called my cell 2x. After the whole getting-ready-and-impatiently-waiting-for-him-to-pick-me-up deal, he finally arrived and we get into his car. I tell him that dad's cell is also disconnected and all he can say to me is, "Get a job!"

That's what I really needed to hear. Apparently, I didn't try hard enough, despite the many resumes, job applications filled and handed over, the rejection letter/phonecall, I wasn't trying hard enough.

We arrived at the theatre, after buying the tickets and awaiting more cousins and their associates to make it a group of 8 that we finally saw the last of the trilogy. It'll never be like the first one. The soundtrack wasn't as rockin', but my cousin was jazzed about the story line, going on about how he wants to watch all the movies and view them as many times as possible, even running up to us in the parking lot to talk about it. We just wanted to go home and collapse, man. I was watching the movie, even leaning into it to put all of my attention into it, but a smidgeon of me was elsewhere: money, future, everything.

Tomorrow, I'm taking my dad's camera, the one he hardly uses yet won't let us touch, and I'll use it for an on-camera audition at my actor's group. It's my turn to fascilitate the night, so I want to do something with it. All we do is talk about what we'd like to do, yet we sit back and wait for someone else to pull a rabbit out of a hat. We'll, I'm bringing them my magic hat, and I hope they appreciate the rabbit I pull out.