It was way back during my heterosexual career, around 1992. I'd just moved away from home and I was still a virgin. Luckily he wasn't my first, but he wanted to be, just because I was a virgin. I'd call him a pig, but.....

Anyway, it's not something I'm proud of, and I still hate myself for this.

He was a roommate, along with an older woman and another guy that barely hung around with us. "S.T.", as I'll call him, had a girlfriend that he said he loved. He also loved to gossip when it came to girls putting out and all that trash talk. I detected him flirting with me, but I didn't take him seriously, mainly because he had a girlfriend. I look down on anyone who justifies cheating, yet I don't go out of my way to do so. Anyway, he wouldn't leave me alone, I caved and we had sex. Not just once though, but several times. There were times where his girlfriend would come over and be all friendly with me. I'd feel the guilt, but I would hide it as much as possible, for I didn't want to be caught.

You can never trust a cheater. He'd rifle through my things too, taking things and claiming them to be his. He claimed that he "borrowed" a dollar that was sitting on my dresser: I never leave my money on my dresser for fear that he'd steal it. I kept in a black box on a shelf. One time, when we were about to have sex, he says, "You want to do the thing?" as if he's ashamed to mention it. I nod and he goes straight for the black box, where I also kept my condoms. I said nothing but I kept a mental note of this. I wrote and left a note in there to tell him to stay out of it, in case he "borrowed from my dresser" again.

One day, I called in sick for work, which I rarely do because I'm hardly sick, and he comes home with another girl. I felt even sorrier for his girlfriend, who was a nice girl. It also made me look at him with an added layer of scum on him. On that same day, he was taking a shower, which was right beside my bedroom. I knew it was him and asked to join him. He says okay, but when I went in, the other girl was there too, so the three of us are in there. Weeks later, I hear from a friend that he's spreading rumours about me, him and his girlfriend! This is what I get for getting involved with a cheater. I also got chlamydia from him too. It was humiliating, going to the doctor and telling him how many sex partners I had. The doctor, judgementally, gave me an uncomfortable exam, shoving the speculum in my face, them prescribed some pills that intentionally aggravate the 'infection'. His malice didn't even occur to me at that time either until just a few years ago.

This is what I get for getting involved with someone who cheats. All because I thought he liked me. This is how low my stupid self-esteem was. It's not as low, but it's down there.

I can't think of a better reason for why I did such a stupid thing. Like he cared. I wouldn't blame her if his girlfriend came up to me today and beat me up or something. There's never a good reason for cheating. Anyone who cheats is doomed.