Now that we've reminisced about 2003, let's look ahead to next year. What do you hope the new year will bring? Any resolutions or ambitions?

I tend to treat my fate like it were a feather on a wind, blowing carelessly here and there with no idea where it'll land. I've never had a new years resolution. I never have faith in those things, thinking that I'll give up on it and hate myself for failing on such a minor thing. I suppose that's why I never commit to making one.

The only thing I anticipate next year is my dad's 65th birthday and retirement, turning 36 and getting a job. No matter what my acting "career" gives me, I always end up doing something on stage or in front of a camera. I hope to feel better about my self-worth and courage. I've felt cowardly in that I haven't anything to look back on with pride, but life may surprise me yet.

Everyone will get older, someone will die, a scandal will break loose, I'll be counting the months since last I had sex then getting over it and one of the hi-lights of my year will have to do with an acting "job". Next year is the year of the monkey, every 12 years, so it'll be an extreme and memorable. When I was twelve, I made a vow to change my eating habits and to never deal with my sexual preference, thinking that being heterosexual was easier because whatever happens, especially negative, can't be blamed because of chosing the opposite sex: Was I ever so young? When I was 24, I moved out to Vancouver and was in the rollercoaster life-ride ever, all very good and very bad. Something big will happen, whether really good or really bad. Maybe really odd or something. Whatever it will be, it'll have an impact on my life. I'm both afraid and excited.

Yesterday, my mom finally bought the dining table she's been eyeing for the past few months. It came today and we both put it together ourselves. Bolts and nuts came with it, along with a tiny wrench and allen keys, so it was a fun project mom and I did together. It only took less than an hour, maybe half of that, but it was the most accomplished I've felt all day, hell, all year. We were anticipating sexist comments from our male family members, but so far, all my younger brother said was, " What? And I wanted to use my new drill on it too", and my dad said, "What's that?"

I've been feeling ill with a cold, but I'm fighting it off. I pop back garlic pills like they were candy, same with the vitamin C chewables mmmm....chewables! My mom bought some cough syrup, so I can't wait to chug it back and conk out tonight, with visions of Buckley's swimming in my system. I may pop in all 4 seasons of Sex & The City. I can't forget that it's coming on tonight also. I'm a little excited that season 5 is coming out on DVD around the 30th of December, and that The L Word will be airing in January, but unless I get the Showtime channel, I'm stuck reading posts from the Yahoo!Group that gushes endlessly about Kate Moennig and Mia Kirshner. If I never see a single episode of that show, I'll remember the one day I did background extra work last year in August.

Time to read other diaries and take my cough syrup.