Living at home, with my aging mom and dad, isn't filled with adventure. It's not "The Cosby Show" or anything, and I didn't expect it to be a thrill-a-minute once I moved back here. I haven't gotten laid in months, I have barely any friends to hang out with, I'm unemployed, I'm broke, blah blah blah blah.........

Something is going to change, and I can't afford to be pounced upon from behind before I make the first move. Too often I leave things to chance, and then uncontrollable things happen that cause my head to spin. All I did was hang out with my dad because I didn't want to stay in the house all day, then I spent some time with my mom outside as she indulged in her flowers and veggie garden. It's like my life is a movie and I'm shifting around in my seat, getting bored. I need more of a life outside of the house, away from my parents and family. If I'd just moved out at 35, never having lived away from home in all these years, I'd be.....pathetic. I moved away at 24 when I was more idealistic and.......11 years younger. What do I want to do? I don't mean for the rest of my life, or for a living, but right now. I'm getting restless. The pace of my life is too slow. For the past few years, I wanted my life to change, I wanted to come back and chill out. Well, I need to get more active. I was looking forward to tomorrow, since the background casting director phoned to see if I could be on set as someone from the '70's, dressed disco or something in that era. Turns out that my dreadlocs are too modern, so they won't need me. What a bust!

The thing is, I don't know what I want to do. The house is quietly waiting for something to happen, my parents have already gone to bed, and I'm typing away at the computer, dragging out thoughts to put in my diary. I've gotten into the habit of writing in here daily, but at some time, I'll run dry and stop for awhile. It's something to do, and I like reading other people's thoughts. I get to venture out on the internet, looking for something interesting and fun. Sometimes I'd rather do that then interact with people.