[Sunday, Aug. 24, 2003 @ 4:14 p.m.]
[ What Kind Of Smile Am I? ]

Smirk
You're the smirk, a frown-smile hybrid that's a little bit cocky and usually associated with evil/arrogant but attractive people. You probably just don't give a damn, but it's everyone else's fault if you don't because you're too awesome to have any real faults!

What Kind of Smile Are You?
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I'm suppose to think that this sums me up in a little quiz. I try to smirk on purpose, but it looks like a pained expression. I'm never aware of my frown unless I catch myself in a mirror or someone takes a picture of me unaware. I have a portrait of me, looking very sad. I was posing for that one for maybe 20 minutes at the time, at the Basic Inquiry Studio in Vancouver, and usually the artists draw all of me, and my face never looks accurate. This portrait however, had a head and shoulders picture that looked like it was taken from a snapshot and as accurate it is, it's the saddest one. Actually, all my drawn portraits look sad. I just sit or stand there and pose, not thinking of an expression, yet it comes out sad all the time. My baby pictures have me looking confused and sad. My mom said that she was worried about me not smiling. I noticed this too, my unhappy chubby face in a bewildered frown, but the photos of my younger brother had later pictures of my smiling. Maybe his birth made me smile, or the loneliness before made me frown?

As for evil/arrogant but attractive people, I suppose I've been conned by those who I trusted but ended up being hood-winked out of money/pride/dignity/respect. They seem to read me like a pamphlet and draw me in, yet I trust them, thinking that there's got to be some trustworthy people on this planet. Everyone wants to be trusted for good/bad reason. I hate the idea of being distrusted when my intentions are good. I sometimes think I don't take advantage of others enough to get away with some decent booty, but I'm not into doing that. I come at people, hoping they see me as a trustworthy person, but instead that's used against me, or the person assumes I'm untrustworthy. It's hard to read people when your perception gets in the way.

I have yet to have people dowse me in compliment, dedicate a website to me, throw me a surprise party, perform my life story before me in the form of a play, sitcom or movie, write a book about me in order to deserve the title "Awesome", but it's a surfer-dude slang that won't go away.


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