[What is your religion? Did you choose it? Have you ever thought of changing it? Why?]]

Well, one way I would die would be at the age of 100, on my birthday, after blowing out the candles on my cake and suffering a major asthma attack.

Another way would be after making love to Anjelina Jolie, then Janet Jackson, then Lisa Bonet and having a killer orgasm.

No.3 would be right after the Oscar awards, where my parents are sitting in the front row, feeble with old age, then after my vague minimalist speech, one of my brothers, out of jealously over my hedonistic lifestyle, plays sniper and puts one right in my heart. My supermodel girlfriend [or Lisa Bonet] would run to my dying body and cradle me as I manage to say, "I regret nothing!"

No.4 would be while embracing my mom in a horrible accident, because I can't imagine carrying on with my life without her in it.

No.5 would be from a heroic act, saving children from a burning building, but unable to make it out because of my attempt at saving the family dog.

My religion, you ask? Well, I was born protestant, which I'm not even sure what that means. My parents didn't explain it to me, but we've never protested anything in our entire lives, not even as a family. Our outings aren't very exciting, so our protests would be completely lame-ass events. I have yet to go to church and picket outside to protest whatever the hell we're suppose to be protesting. I'll google it some other time. I asked my mom what we were when I was a young'un and she simply said Protestant without any explanation. My mom and I, actually my family and I, never get into any intellectual conversations, so any explanations on our religion would be brief and still unanswered. When I was in high school, grade 11, I took a philosophy class and came away realizing that all religions are based on their own unique philosophy, carried out as a lifestyle. I'd never examined them before, never pondered them. I use to think, again when I was a young'un, that they were all the same, but with different names. Everybody has their way of looking at life, about how we got here, about what our purpose was, about a higher being, and it got me thinking about what I believed. Sometimes I think I'm atheist, sometimes agnostic, but never a believer. I went to these buddhist meetings once, around '01, because I didn't know much about them. Once you start attending a religious service, it's assumed you'll join regardless. I'd mentioned that I had no goals in becoming a buddhist, but one woman who suggested I come in the first place wanted me to change my mind: that turned me off, like I wasn't suppose to decide on my own, like there was some sort of unmentioned time-limit against me.