Best Ending To A Speech:"...and that's all folks!" from the winners of Best Art Direction after winning for "Lord of the Rings" (and from here on out, will be referred to as LOTR).

Best Heart-Felt Speech To Their Spouse: Andrew Stanton for winning Best Animated Feature when he said, "This is a love letter to you from grade school: I love you" and they showed her reaction as he said it.

Most Prominent-Looking Peasants: The winners of Best Costume Design for LOTR, who had no charisma at all, looking like they bought their outfits at Wal-Mart.

Best Misuse of Time: By Renee Zellweger for Best Supporting Actress, as she took her sweet-ass time getting up on stage.

Best Compressed Speech: The winners of Best Live Action Short for "Two Soldiers" who crammed in every person they'd ever worked with in their thank-you's but not quick enough to beat the music cue that overlapping.

Best Gay Moment: The winners of Best Animated Short for "Harvey Krumpet" (wished I'd seen this one) when he tagged the name "Dave" at the end of his speech then blew a kiss.

Best Time Used by Winners: All 5 winners for Best Visual Effects in LOTR squeezed in their thank-you's and dedications before the music cue cut them off.

Best Idea: Cramming the winners of all the Scientific & Technical Awards into a separate ceremony cutting it down to 2 extra hours! A Huge thank you to whomever's idea that was!

Best Entrance: Blake Edwards, when announced for receiving his Lifetime Achievement Award, zoomed by Jim Carrey in a wheelchair and plowed into a stunt wall, caming out with plaster all over his coat. Tells Jim not to touch his award, then after holding it, tells Jim to hold it.

Best Spouse: The wife of the winner of Best Make-Up for LOTR who was thanked for having a glass of wine waiting for him when he got home every night during shooting.

Most Unoriginal Speech: To the winner of Best Sound Mixing by LOTR for rambling about cast, crew and family: forgetable.

Most Fortunate Country: New Zealand for being thanked immensely by everyone who won an award for LOTR.

Most Prominent Legends: Katherine Hepburn, Bob Hope & Gregory Peck, eventhough every award show has that "In Memorium" moment, these 2 got featured for 7 minutes each, including a speech and footage of their careers.

Best Response: When Julia Roberts recalled an interview between Katherine Hepburn and Barbara Walters:

BW: You always wear pants. Do you even own a skirt?

KH: Yes, and I'll wear it to your funeral.

[Who's laughing now?]

Biggest Downer: Winner of Best Short Subject Documentary for "Chernobyl Heart", eventhough it was heart-warming, it still soaked the mood in a wet blanket of a moment.

Most Energetic Speech: The winner of "Best Documentary Feature" for "The Fog of War" who had a booming voice and pointing out the obvious, "This thing's heavy!" Looked like he was about to jump out of his skin.

Funniest Moment: When Billy Crystal announced, "....and now for the weapon of mass sleep production, the president of the academy...." whatever-his-name-was. To which the President retorted, "I just hope I don't ruin his show" in regards to Billy.

[In respects to those who've passed on, refer to Blog of Death.]

Best Appearence by a Diva: Annie Lennox, who sang the song from LOTR, then was one of the winners for Best Original Score, looking and sounding fabulous. Where have you been, girl? "I hope You all enjoyed the songs as I sang it tonight", she said, also mentioning "attending to family business" last year, hence Annie's absence.

Second Least Interesting Award: for Best Film Editing. First Least interesting? Sound Editing. Who notices that while watching a film except the film and sound editors?

Most Interesting Musical Performance: It's a tie: Eugene Levy & Catherine O'Hara. I didn't know they could sing and play instruments! I was skeptical, thinking it was air guitar/harpsicord, but it looked real. Eugene & Catherine had a musical pause, kissed, paused again, then played again, so they also win for Best Suspended Moment. The other was Will Farrell & Jack Black for singing the lyrics to the musical cue. They were entertainingly poking fun at anyone who prattled on too long: "Catherine Zeta-Jones is snoring!" was one of the lyrics, and she busted a gut over that one.

Most Thankful Winners: Canadian Director Denys Arcand's "The Barbarian Envasion" got 2 nominations, but won for Best Foreign Language Film, mainly for being French Canadian. Of the 3 winners, the woman said, "We're so thankful that LOTR did not qualify for this category".

Most Anti-New Zealander: When the winner for Best Cinematography went to "Master & Commander" Russell Boyd said, "I have an Australian accent" so no one would make the assumption.

Most Unanswered Question: Would Sofia Coppola have been nominated were she not the daughter of Francis Ford? She was the first woman director nominated, ever, which is a shame, and the award goes to her. I haven't seen her movie, so I can't judge rightly. Also, Best Revenge: When Sofia won her awards, it made up for her performance in "The Godfather III" and for everyone who ridiculed and mocked her.

The Most Deserved Thanks: To J.R.R.Tolken, for writing the LOTR books in the first place, making everyone forget "Meet The Feebles" that Peter Jackson seems to regret ever making.

Best Ending To a Trilogy: When Peter Jackson won the 11th award for LOTR and said, "You've given us an incredible night!" and then dedicated his win to his passed-on parents unable to see his victory.

Best Lead-In to an Award: When Adrien Brody went to introduce the winner for Best Actress, he took out some Banoca(?), gave his mouth a refreshing squirt and read Charlize Theron's name for "Monster", hoping for the same big smooch he planted on Halle Berry last year.

The One & Only Ovation: Went to Sean Penn as he won for Best Actor in "Mystic River". He presented his speech unrehearsed and was forever greatful to Clint Eastwood. The one time he shows up for an award show and he wins! How great is that?

Second Largest Group of People on Stage: The cast and crew of LOTR for winning Best Motion Picture of about 11 people!

The Largest Group of People on Stage: The Oscar-winners/weiners of the night.

I'm off to bed.

Now is the end of Black History Month and the start of the countdown to my 36th birthday in 14 days.