Yesterday, we were rehashing what went on last monday: I entered, late, while they were in a heated discussion about what everyone wanted from the group, and emotions ran away with a few members, while others were holding back truer more damaging opinions. It could've gotten uglier, but the worst moment was when one member got up and left. When she eventually did come back, she expressed that she wasn't sure if she was coming back the following week. I looked at her, giving my wide-eyed child look, pleading for her to come back, for it would be a shame to lose such a valuable and charismatic person that could be wasting her talent stuck at a waitressing job for the rest of her life. I didn't use those exact words, or she'd have cracked me across the temple with a nearby ashtray. I melted her, and as yesterday showed, she did come back.

It made me think about relationships, because our group had a relationship dynamic to it. There was the friendly polite mode, then the idealistic joyous one, and what happened last monday and this, was the skeptical head-butting mode. All relationships have some friction, and how you survive it determines the outcome. Lots of times, in my interactions with friends and lovers, the friction was too much for us to handle, and then our bond was abandoned to avoid anymore anxiety. I've always hit that wall and never seen the other side. I don't have the tools to climb that wall, but once I learn how, that wall will look like a mere fence with a gate for me to pass through.