Ignorance is truly blissful, I must say. To think that Everyone is born straight, that it's the only way, to feel privileged to pity a minority, that one doesn't belong to it, and to outwardly condemn them in order to feel fortunate. Many people count their blessings because they consider themselves "normal", and avoid what they don't understand. In a crazy world like the one we live in, today is merely the past, and future generations will scratch their heads, wondering how we could live in such backward times?

I'm still grappling with my own sexuality, taking both black and white and swirling it around, creating a grey, seeing that it's not that simple. Sometimes I think about stereotypes and wonder where I got them from? I sometimes think I'm not lesbian enough, or that my friend was right, that because I had bad experiences with men in the past, that I "became a lesbian". She was unrelenting about it too. I realise that I didn't want to be harassed, that I never felt excepted for who I was, no matter how I came across, and wanted to fit into what was likeable. I wanted to feel like a woman, and that back then, meant being with men, but it was just a picture in my head that I was trying to live up to. When you're told that your future involves finding someone of the opposite sex, marrying them and breeding their offspring, you think that's what life is, until you realise that that's not what YOU want. When you also move around several times, you want to adjust to the group so they'll accept you. When I use to believe in god and prayer, I always prayed that the kids would like me. I've never felt like I was expressing my real self, now that I think about it.

I don't know when I started having low self-esteem, but it has taken me on a path that only battered around my inner child, the one that hates me for becoming the adult I am today.