Another actress, ML, was there but for a different role of a street person. She was lookin' mighty butch, actuually. Mmmm.....

Whenever KD, the casting director would open the door to let another actor inside, my negative impression of her melted away. She seemed friendlier than when we first talked on the phone months ago. I'd crossed her off my mental list of contacts, then this audition happens. Hmm, maybe I'll no longer be a fan of Tyra Banks.

I was so scared, I seriously thought I'd barf. The fear came from my shaky line knowledge, feeling blocked because one small speech just couldn't come out of my mouth smoothly enough. Otherwise I'd have felt half as nauseaus.

Finally, after falling behind by half an hour, I was called in, and KD was very to-the-point. My friend who helped me with my lines was right about her: she's a sweetheart. He also called me the morning of and felt guilty for being so tough on me, saying that he did it out of love and he wanted to see me succeed. I was very understanding and was very thankful. He's one o'th'good ones! Anyway, I was in this small auditorium and was instructed to park myself in one of the pews. I was to hold up a piece of paper with "33" on it so that I could have a snapshot taken and recorded on her little state-of-the-art digital camcorder. I won't drone on with too many details, but of the 2 scenes I was given to recite, I ended up doing only one of them, 2x, then she said, "Thank you", and I was outta there. It didn't occur to me until I'd left the room that everyone else had roughly 10 minutes of audition time while I had barely 5. That's usually a bad sign when they spend so little time with you. As relieved as I was, I also felt tense and worn out. I always feel that way after an audition. It's like a headache that moved further down my body, has spread out more. When I was sitting on the bus and massaging the back of my neck, I must've looked like I'd come from a hard day's work. In a way I did. I must've lost some calories just full of pent-up fear and nervousness and trying to channel it all.

Well, I got to work it out when I went to my actor's group tonight, doing a monologue and some improv games. I'd be shocked if I actually got the part, but not surprised if I was cast to appear in the background.