Have you or someone you know ever had a problem with substance abuse? Do you/they now? Tell us about this experience.

I've never thought of myself as an addict of any kind, especially when I was in my teens and '20's. I use to be proud about being drug/alcohol-free, but I've indulged since then. I use to be so against both intoxicants that I assumed I was immune to them, blind to my vulnerabilities when it came to filling the hole in my secular soul (that's an oxymoron). If not those items, it would've been something else. We all want to feel complete, and the reason we go on living day to day is to achieve that. When we feel we've failed, we turn to something more instantly gratifying, courtesy of the neighbour down the hall or the dealer in the corner of the bar. There's always a way to get our hands on chemicals, and you don't have to belong to a certain category of people stigmatized with addictions. Sometimes I wished I'd never used or ingested mind-altering social-binding drugs, but there are times where I wish I were numb all over, so that the mistakes I've made in the past could stop stinging me, that I could have a moment of peace despite the chaos around me, to smile while everyone else is frowning and to feel complete. It's a false way to achieve satisfaction, but tell me, what's so great about indulging in junk food, self-inflicted harm, prescription drugs, "Survivor", "American Idol", the internet, coffee, cigarettes, pornography and celebrities? To look down on someone for having an addiction is to turn a blind eye to our own vulnerabilities. To admit to an addiction is to appear weak, and that is looked down upon by the judgemental ones. I want to believe I'm strong and can resist anything, that I don't want to need anything. There use to be days where I'd smoke pot the full 24 hours. I'd spend a day hunting some more, getting frustrated with every second that my body ached for it. I had friends that were as bad or worse than me and would pass judgement if I didn't smoke. There will always be addictions on this planet long after we're gone, because there's some sort of human element that urges us to find one thing and depend upon it for satisfaction. There's a certain safety, a certain reassurance in addictions. Once we have a taste, that first sensation is the greatest, so we chase after it, knowing full well it's just not the same. I use to go for days of not smoking, to the point of not jonesing anymore, because once I took a drag of weed, then the high was great. It's when you really need it that the sensation is dull and you're immune to its effects.