I daydream all the time.

Watching television doesn't help either. Being a struggling actor and watching shows like, "Entertainment Tonight" or "Access Hollywood" gives me stupid ideas and feed my daydreams even more. I alway imagine myself single though, which I don't mind at all. I daydream about the crazy house I'd live in, the amount of differenly-themed rooms I'd have, like a black/white room, my arts & crafts room, my completely empty room to escape to for peace and quiet, my teddybear room, and my fake bedroom, for those days where I have a really messy room and guest are coming over. I'd have the back of the closet in the fake bedroom open up to my real one, in case the camera crew come over and Barbara Walters or Oprah Winfrey came over for a heart-to-heart with me.

My other daydreams also involves other women. Mostly those I know, not often famous ones. Sometimes she'd be a faceless women who's my personal massseuse and likes to give me an "extra special" massage, bordering on prostitution.

Being in the business, while I'm on this daydream thing, I'd get my family members to meet any famous person they want. My younger brother loves KISS, so I'd get the best seats for him, wherever in the world they're performing, backstage passes and photos with them. Since Jimi Hendrix is dead, my older brother would have to pick someone else. For my parents, I'd introduce them to James Brown, or even Jimmy Cliff, since he's Jamaican: That is one of my favourite daydreams.

I love watching "On Becoming" where some ordinary person gets to be their favourite rock star and "Become" them in a video. I don't know who the hell I'd do, but I'm close to resembling Macy Gray, since I'm not about to part with my dreadlocks for Whitney Houston or whomever I'd want to be, unless Whoopi Goldberg puts out an album and video.

I also think of daydreams where I could be in danger of being violated, then the martial arts a la Trinity from "The Matrix" comes out of me, and casualties are stewn about. If you've ever seen "Cleopatra Jones" and its sequel, I'd so want to star in that one, but I hear Don Cheadle wants to or is directing that one.

There are the more negative daydreams though. I don't want to say that teaching isn't a noble profession, but I don't want to be one either. I'd daydream that I'm embittered with my dreams and ambitions, teaching a High School drama class, directing a production of "You Can't Take It With You" with an all-black cast while the role of Donald & Rheba were played by white kids. A scandal would break out and I'd be in the news. They'd ask me about my days in Vancouver and I'd tell them about my celebrity sightings and encounters, the auditions I've gone on, the highs and lows of being a struggling actor, you know, romantasizing my past to make it sound better than it actually was. I played Rheba in our High School production, and my teacher, in front of everyone, told me to "act black" then winced at his own comment. That's what I was trying to avoid.

One daydream that I wish would happen is that I get that gift that absolutely makes me cry with joy that the giver knew exactly what to get me, like my old teddybear I'd thrown out and cried over, or some toy I'd wanted since I was a child but didn't get.

One more thing.

I'd imagine how my dad might except me being a lesbian. He'd come home one day from driving cab, and toss a copy of "Playboy" on my bed or some other porno rag. "A customer left this in my cab. Keep it if you want". This is the only realistic scenario, otherwise I doubt he'd be even tolerant at all.

Right now, I'm still digesting my supper.