I'm wired on 2 cups of coffee I drank a mere few hours ago, coupled with 2 glasses of coke, so the caffeine is not going away. It doesn't matter anyway, since I have trouble sleeping. I was watching this movie called, Strange Fits of Passion, and the lead girl is going through figuring out her sexual identity: that was me, until she has this fantasy, lying in bed, masterbating over a woman, 2 straight guys and a gay friend of hers: she says she's not gay! Argh! I was disappointed with her for not being like me, and I thought that maybe I wasn't gay. She throws away her virginity to some guy, and when he realizes that he's not a sexual person, she agrees and feels the same way. I can't say I'm sex on legs or anything, but I don't feel anything lately.

I'm frustrated with everything: sex, love, unemployment, just whatever. Stupid PMS! I can't wait to bleed and get it over with.

Even the actor's group I went to seems to have lost its spirit. Nobody really feels it's going anywhere, like a relationship that's on the rocks. Everything sucks. I'm not even frustrated enough to scream at someone. I don't want to do anything. I feel blah.

Hopefully the caffeine will pass, and I'll have a better perspective on things. Then again, maybe I won't.