|
My dad got a phone call from his sister about a relative that hung himself. It came when I was adjusting the time on the DVD/VCR. I thought it was a relative I'd met before, even worse, thinking it was my uncle, my dad's brother! My dad's reaction wasn't as dramatic, so I sensed it wasn't him. His brother had visited us before with his family, but his son, the one who hung himself, didn't come along. Apparently, drugs were involved. I can't even picture what this guy looked like to really mourn him and my dad doesn't remember his name. The sadness I feel is mild and I hate that. It's a coincidence that the family members who pass away are ones I'm not well aquainted with or don't know that well. In that way, I'm spared the pain of a loved one's death, but I feel so removed. Well, it's not about me but more about how the other family members are taking it. Speaking of family, the other day, my mom and I were in the doctor's office and she was rifling through an issue of Reader's Digest. There was an ad about symptoms of Alzheimers and as I was going down the list, I pointed out, "I don't remember seeing Cries often for no reason", to which she answered, "I have". We sat in silence and didn't talk about it afterwards. He also has a habit of arguing over nothing! Half an hour ago, he asked me if I was going to eat something. I said I'd make something and that I'd take care of myself. Just 5 minutes ago, he got angry about why the computer was taking me away from making something for myself to eat. "Are you trying to pick a fight?" I asked. Then he gets defensive about why I get angry all the time about everything he brings up! If I had all our interactions on reality tv, he'd deny all that happened. Even my mom admits, daily, that he's driving her crazy. She had a moment weeks ago about how she needs to see a professional and that she has nobody to talk to. I felt kind of hurt, but how can she unload to me and expect me to fix her problems? That's as likely to happen as her fixing my problems. My mom says she goes to the gym to relieve the stress (my dad) from her life. I'm all pent up, snapping at family members (mostly dad) and getting less shifts at work. Maybe this is an emotional spring cleaning of sorts, just venting our emotional baggage out of ourselves and when summer comes around, we'll feel refreshed. I'll hold onto that theory for a while until I realized how stupid it really sounds. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
|
