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Two days in a row, I've gone to the bar near by and had a few drinks; last night with two managers and the night before, by myself. Having drinks with co-workers makes working with them easier in that they aren't just people I spent a few hours with on our feet and serving people. At work, you're not suppose to be social with each other, accept when you have to. Having drinks gives you a chance to relax and talk freely about yourself and other co-workers and such. I didn't want to seem like I took them out just to squeeze any gossip out of them, but some things did leak out. It was nothing too severe and I didn't press for details, or did I? Anyway, I'm broke now and can't afford to have anymore drinks until next payday. I hate drinking alone; I feel like a barfly or some sort of lush. With friends, it only disguises it more. I once told myself that I didn't want to get too close with anyone there so it wouldn't be so hard to separate myself when I leave eventually. At the same time though, the past jobs where I've been more than social only gave me memories whether good or bad, and sometimes people will stick in your life or they won't. Plus there's always new friends to make in life. Anyway, I felt like a third wheel with the two male managers. They hang out like they're best friends, especially since one of them just became manager in January. The managers are their own clique, their own separate society. I feel too much like a fraud to get too close to people I refuse to come out to. I'd feel like a traitor after all that. I'm doing another fringe festival play this year, and I attended the readthrough awhile ago, but only I showed up. This has me worried about whether or not it'll make it to performance in July. I had to call the director and confirm his phonecall about it and a co-worker overheard me, teasing me and saying I was talking to my "hot date". I assured her it wasn't and she drew it out of me that I don't bother with romance anymore without being gender-specific. I hope I didn't come off as too pathetic and I hope nobody fixes me up with their brother or cousin or whatever. Speaking of relations, I walked into a music store on my way to the readthrough to visit an old roommate. I told him I was looking for some sheet music for musical auditions, which was partially true, but I really wanted to take another look at the one who bagged a wife and spewed out some kids and looks bad while I suppress any hope of romance for any human. Boy, did he balloon! I don't think I need to worry about him going back to his eye-wandering ways. Turns out too, that his fellow co-worker is a cousin of mine, who use to be in a band a few years ago. I even introduced myself to him and he confirmed he's cousins with my godfather's kids, which makes us cousins in some degree. Anyway, for a short work day, the whole of it was long. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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