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I happened to be flicking the channels when I crossed Oprah. The subject had something to do with teenaged girls with such self-loathing and low self esteem that they did self-abusive things to fill the emptiness within them. It carries into your adulthood, believe me! My eyes got moist at moments. Man, can I relate! It just made me wonder about my sex life and the choices I've had to live with. I want to find a way to change myself so I'm not feeling worthless everytime I'm physical with someone or when my family wonders why I'm not more like my brothers, or why I have dead-end jobs that are entry-level and nothing more or why I am the person I am and why I can't stand the person in the mirror sometimes. Right now I want to watch The 2006 Genie Awards but I'm sucked into the internet while listening to the latest Madonna album, which I love right now! I also bought N.W.A.'s "Straight Outta Compton" because I love "Express Yourself" and I was just in a gangster bitch mood. My younger brother is always baffled by me, especially when I showed him the CD. "You're into this?" he asked one time when I bought the latest 50 Cent CD. He hasn't a clue about me. You know how most people's body language is open towards you? My brother's is always having his back to me or making sure he's never open to me, like he's ashamed. He always makes me feel like a loser or some mountainous booger pile that he'd love to flush. I can see how he looks at me with disgust and disappointment or how he scolds me like his least favourite child. It's humiliating, and my parents want me to be like him! This must be a challenge to my self-esteem! Must bust this! While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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