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I was at work when this guy comes in; his wife was in the last fringe play I did last year, so I naturally ask how she's doing. He doesn't answer. He orders his meal and I ask again. He leans in and says, "We're separated". I felt embarrassed that I even mentioned it. How painful is it that when you're known to be coupled with someone and people always ask about your other half while you're going through a painful separation? I felt like I added a fly to his drink or something, but I carefully said as little as possible about it, to avoid saying anything stupid. For some reason, I made it about me: first people I know are dying, then people I know are getting divorced, which makes this month worse for ME! How selfish of me! I had to gather my thoughts on this, realizing this wasn't about me. I felt stupid for a moment. It also reminded me that relationships are so fragile. Sometimes I wonder why bother with marriage or relationships, just because I've had bad luck with them. I was feeling bummed about love and all, feeling completely defeated about the whole thing, but it was the end of the day and I was tired on top of that. I got to thinking about it more and figured: my right hand won't betray me, won't give me excuses for why I can't be their girlfriend or why they only wanted sex from me or justify a non-consentual act. All the negatives just rolled around my brain for hours. How can I support gay marriages when I'm negative about straight ones? If I believed in true love, I'd be more positive. Then again, if I waited for the right person to give my virginity away to, I'd still be waiting. Anyway, my mom is going on a road trip with her best friend in a few hours, so in preparation, she had me paint her toenails. I've never seen my own mother's toenails upclose! This was a bizarre thing to me. You think you know someone, or at least part of them, when it comes down to a body part like toenails. My dad sat in on the session, sniffing them and says, "I sucked on the little one." I'm going to need therapy for that comment! Ew! I told him he traumatized me. Now I'll have that image swirling around my dreams tonight. My mom and my brother told me I had to keep an eye out for him, when his memory fails him, and it will! He'll be phoning me on my cell for all sorts of reasons; he called me, leaving a message like the automated voice was my personal secretary, claiming it was important. I call back when all he wanted was to know about his pension check, but he discovered it was directly deposited into his account! Sheesh! Once, he called just to figure out our birthdays on his calculator! I'm his babysitter for a week until mom [eventually] gets back. How the hell am I going to entertain him? There's a staff party next week, so maybe I'll bring him along. I'll be making more visits to the bar or begging other co-workers for some marijuana just so I can deal with him. It'll be like we're married! I'm already thankful that I'm single. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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