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It's Saturday night, Sunday morning. Canada Day is here and I'm home with my parents. I'm also hungry and "in need of some physical delights". It's frustrating fighting it off because on those days when I'm not feeling the itch, I wish to live like that for the rest of my life. All that come to mind are anyone I was with last. Bah! I even went and had a massage. In my head, I was fantasizing it would "escalate" to something more complete, like she's whip out a dildo and "massage me inside and out". The one thing I didn't expect her to do, and she didn't do it anyway, was massage my boobs. I was fine and relaxed all over, but I expected to be perfectly content with just a straight-forward massage to replace sex. It can't! Having sex is just tangling myself in another mess I regret. The bad out-weigh the good as I get older. I bumped into a friend's ex on the bus several weeks ago. When he asked about my love life, well, first I bristle whenever anyone asks me that questions. Then I said, "Well, fortunately I'm single". The way I said it made him groan in pity. He said something about how as he gets older his expectations for potential love mates lessens when he realizes how human they are. Something to that effect. I think I have high hopes or that my hopes are too unrealistic. Whatever. I also think that I'm not good enough for others, because I always see them end up with someone they're so happy with, or at least makes sense in pairing. I hope to be perfectly happy single for the rest of my life. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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