I was on the bus, on my way to an audition when two large black women got on. Automatically, I figured them to be lesbians, and they sat down beside me at the back of the bus, one with her arm around the other. I gave one of them a shy smile of acknowledgement but no response. I think I confused her or annoyed her. My cousin was chatting with my younger brother about "some gay guy", ending his sentence with "faggot", chuckling afterwards. My mom immediately glanced at me to see the sour expression on my face. I wonder what kind of support my whole family would give me if I stood up against homophobia? If I were vocal enough and pointed out how awful of him that was? We black people hate the n-word, yet here he is tossing around the f-word. People stand up for their rights mostly out of selfishness, not because it's the humane thing to do. When another minority says something politically incorrect, I wonder if they'd feel the same way if they were of a different race? We discriminate against what we're not. If I were a straight white male, how different would my view of gay black women be? When you try to understand other types of people, you're made fun of or looked down upon or whatever: you're discouraged from being sympathetic. I think about stuff like this also when a meat-eater puts down a vegetarian, who puts down a vegan, who puts down a raw foodist, and especially ex-vegetarians who put down the whole lot. We all want to be treated with respect yet we won't give it to others. We even justify it too. I think I'm just a lazy lesbian, frustrated with looking for an easy way to have sex with other women. I love it so much better, but it's harder to find women, and men naturally hunt after sex/love/breeders anyway. It's so much easier to lead a straight lifestyle but so unsatisfactory to me and more frustrating. As long as I'm living at home, I'm going to have a miserable sex life. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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