I was remembering that night, when he drove me home, how he dropped in conversation that he's an independant person who wants his freedom. I didn't say anything, but it's occuring to me that he's telling me, "I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now" kind of talk. Yesterday, I was listening to an easy listening CD filled with lovesongs and I felt high from them. After this realization, they made me sick. I'd fallen off my cloud, the other shoe dropped. I don't know what to expect anymore. I shouldn't expect guarantees. Who can I talk to that won't tell me, "Well you shouldn't have been so stupid! What the hell is wrong with you?" Pure judgement speech I'd get. There hasn't been anyone I've told simply because I know nothing will be born from this, whatever it is. I went into this expecting to get hurt and that's what I got, so it's time I was a big girl and move on.