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Still unemployed, after 2 years. Barely a cent in my savings and chequing account combined. No love interest to speak of. I'd have to be working and making enough money to do that, plus I just don't have any real interest for anyone. If you count someone who's married, but that's just a crush that'll go away, I know it. I would never do anything about it. It's a stupid idea to begin with and there are just too many reasons to never get into something like that in the first place. I wouldn't want to be cheated on, so why do that to someone else? Why justify it? I wouldn't think much of anyone who would want to do that, even with me. If someone is coming to me about their problem of screwing around with someone's husband or wife, then they get no real sympathy with me. Telling them that what they're doing is wrong will only be dismissed. They know it's wrong. I know it's wrong, but for me to do something like that, I would have to be terribly selfish and deluded that that person really cares for me. I would have to pretend that this person who wants to have sex with me and not their wife or husband cares about me, but in the end, one of the three people will get hurt and it's never the married one seeking outside of their marriage or relationship. Anyway, I've gone on too long about that when really I'm just pissed off at looking for work and getting nothing at all. It shouldn't be that hard to get work? I've got the professional resume, I've conducted myself professionally at interviews, I've dressed in business casual. One person figured that not only would I benefit from getting work because I was black, but that I should put my picture on the resume to ensure that I get work. I don't even think they realize how it would back fire, that if they saw who it was in the first place, they'd feel the opposite. Anyway, I'm frustrated. I was happy that a friend of mine wanted to take me out for lunch, buy me a meal. It made my day. Also, a white aquaintance pointed out that a lot of the historian who are telling black people's stories in movies were white, with maybe one black person on board who was actually allowed to participate. A lot of white people responded harshly, as if he was wrong. If only they had an idea what it was like, but they don't, and you can't make them understand either. It's amazing, sometimes. Anyway, I'd rather not think about it, but when I wipe it out of my mind, someone comes along and says something ignorant and racist, or I hear sexism out there, or even homophobia. It's out there, it's within earshot and I can't ignore it like most people can. It's too close. Time to take some cough syrup and conk out for a few hours, or until tomorrow. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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