I was sitting in my room and my mom was going on about something. I love her to death but when she tries to instruct me on how disorganised I am, telling me what to do, suddening my attention turns to the tv. I had this image that I'd burst into an unstoppable scream and start thrashing about, destroying everything in my path, smashing dishes, upturning furniture, then suddenly wrestling with 2 guys in white coats, feeling a needle in my ass then falling asleep waking up in a padded room. Not that I'm being dramatic, but sometimes I think there's something wrong with me. What friends I have aren't that close. I keep people at a distance for fear they'll know too much about me. I'm not 100% open with anyone. It's too scary. I've been made vulnerable against my will, I've handed over my trust easily only to have them abuse it. I pick the wrong friends sometimes and I avoid the good ones. Like love, I chose the wrong people. I think. If I had a fearless attitude, I'd be more forthright[?] with people, especially friends and family. I'd disregard people's opinions that clashed with mine. I'd set people straight when I feel I've been wronged or jerked around. I'd be more outspoken when something just wasn't right. I'd take more chances with what I wanted out of life, accept the consequences and move on.
I have tuesday off and I'll waste it somehow. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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