It must be the pms. I'm horny and it won't go away. I'm susceptible when someone looks at me the right way, when they look at me for a brief moment until I ruin it by saying, "What are you looking at?" I actually said that! When someone use to be a model and makes solid eye contact, it's penetrating. They won't leave my skin cells. I get crushes on men and women, and this time, it's a man. One I knew from that actor's studio in Vancouver. I saw him on set when I was doing background work and since then, he won't leave my lust goggles. If you've seen that commercial where that guy has a small car stuck to his head, oblivious that he's got it on his mind 24/7 while everyone else can see it, that's me with this guy in front of me, smiling. At one point, someone observed and motioned her fingers at us that we, "Seemed just a little too...." then trailed off. None of us defended ourselves. I wonder what he was thinking? He even looked at me, and I swear on Charles Darwin's grave that I saw a spark. My skin aches. He won't leave my brain or other parts of me. This'll torture me. I keep imaginging that we'd have this torrid affair and it ends up wrong. I always forsee impending doom, then when I think I've yanked myself out of it, he pops back into my head, smiling and leaning in closer. The best/worst thing about this is.....I haven't felt like this for anyone in years! This is a painful crush. This little soap opera that plays daily in my head is my only amusement. I can't watch tv because I'm too distracted these days thinking of him. I don't care if I do turn out straight or if it actually is a crush: this feels good! I'm going to my room to collect my thoughts. While Soaking in Lavendar... - Saturday, Apr. 06, 2019 He Reminded Me of An Incident Years Ago - Monday, Feb. 04, 2019 My Rose-Coloured Glasses are Smashed & I Don’t Want Them Anymore - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2019 It’s Been Awhile - Saturday, Feb. 02, 2019 I Never Needed You. - Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014
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