[Saturday, Aug. 16, 2003 @ 1:36 p.m.]
[ Chuffnutt's 100 List ]

  1. I'm a middle child. I thought I was the oldest until I was about 7 and my mom told me I had an older brother in Jamaica.
  2. After my brother came to Canada, my brothers bonded, making me feel like the third wheel: I always feel left out in groups or threesomes, which is why I'd hate to be asked in a sexual one.
  3. I found out that my dad isn't my real dad when I was 18, and that my real dad is a teacher, or by now a principle of a school somewhere in Winnipeg.
  4. I was molested by 2 male babysitters, when one night, one of them wanted to take me upstairs and I bitched him out and he never touched me again. The other one, his brother or cousin, tried to undress me in my sleep but because I wouldn't let him, faked a crying session to let me. I told him to get out and he never touched me again. I'd totally forgotten about this episode until I was 15 and saw a segment on some newsshow, which sent a flood of memories coming back.
  5. Our family has moved 5 times, I've been to 4 elementary schools(failed grade 4), 2 Jr.Highs, one high school, several acting school, a modelling school, took piano lessons and a jazz dance class.
  6. I got my ears pierced when I was 7 because my first friend had hers done when she was 2.
  7. I took piano lessons because the same friend who got her ears pierced at 2 also took piano. I quit after I did badly at a piano recital, but really quit when told I was up for another one.
  8. In grade 7, when I was telling my new friend about how much fun I was having in drama class, she said, "Well, have you ever considered becoming an actor?" to which I had an epiphany right there and knew that's what I wanted to do.
  9. I've only been to Jamaica 2x: when I was 7 and met my older brother for the first time, and when I was 16, being grossed out by the men hitting on me.
  10. When I was in grade 1, this girl had a hole in her crotch and that got me excited. I begged and pleaded to see it again, but she just gave me a frightened look.
  11. My younger brother is stronger than me, so I use to wrestle with my older skinnier brother for fun.
  12. For a fleeting moment, I thought I was a transsexual, several years ago, until I realized that if I were born a guy, my gender wouldn't matter. Sometimes it still doesn't.
  13. I was raped on December 25, 1997, from a friend that saw me with my girlfriend dancing at a lesbian bar. Our mutual friends stood up for him and thought I was a threat to him.
  14. I've only fainted 2x in my life: when I was an office temp, and this large copier machine was giving out an odorless gas that knocked me out, and again when I was at a nude beach and I was taking zoloft and hadn't eaten all day. Before I fainted in the last one, I was about to order a taco at 'Taco Buff' when the sun got too hot.
  15. I've been on welfare several times, stood in the food bank line-up, gone to soup kitchens and had coffee for 25 cents.
  16. I use to be afraid of dogs and cats when I was little until I got over cats around age 6, then after I became a vegan, I loved dogs.
  17. In the last place I lived in, there was a serious roach and mice problem. There was also a couple of murders outside my window, but I didn't witness them.
  18. I've had sex with 17 men and 5 women, and one of the women became a transsexual male. 2 of the men were bisexual
  19. When I rub my right eye, it squeeks.
  20. I started growing dredlocs in Sept.'00 and I hate when people say I wear extensions.
  21. I hate extensions and wigs.
  22. I've only worn wigs for performances.
  23. I use to hate my ass when I was a teen-ager, and even bought magazines that had excersizes to decrease it. Now, it's not really an issue unless someone assumes it's big because I'm black.
  24. I've have guys smack my ass during sex:I hated it.
  25. Having sex with a girl was something I was afraid of, because I knew I'd love it, but didn't want to open that door for the longest time until I was 29.
  26. I'm right-handed, but I can write backwards with my left.
  27. I envy my younger brother's apartment, but I feel sorry for him, because he's lonely.
  28. I admire my older brother, because he has a certain fearlessness and is a fighter, but he's miserable and turning into my dad. I don't think he's happy at all.
  29. The thought of having another entry-level job just hurts me all over.
  30. The area around my mouth is darker than the rest of my face, and I hate when people think I'm a man because of this. My mom keeps bringing my attention to it, and I don't know how to say I hate that without hurting her.
  31. As much as my dad intimidates me, I love him so much.
  32. I have a scar on my left elbow from when I rode a BMX bike over a ramp and crashed. The 3 boys who witnessed this just looked at me, speechless like idiots.
  33. I have a slight fear of the dark because that's where the babysitters took me.
  34. When I saw that the Santa Claus one year looked different than the one last year at Sears, that's when I stopped believing in him. I was about 5-6 years old.
  35. When my older brother came to Canada and bonded with my younger brother, I wished I had a twin sister.
  36. I have a half-sister, but she's distant we don't click at all. I think she suspects I'm a lesbian.
  37. I hate when my dad is being racist/sexist/homophobic.
  38. I have an active imagination.
  39. Occupations I wanted to be:Nurse, Teacher, Architect, Athlete (figure skater or sprinter), Model, Playwright and now Actor.
  40. I never use to think anyone would want to kiss me, because I always feared I had perpetually bad breath.
  41. I've been called the 'N' word before, but when strangers say it, I just think they're stupid, but when friends say it, I lose respect for them.
  42. I've never been called a Dyke, but one idiot who mistook me for someone else called me a fag. I thought that was funny.
  43. I have no yearnings to have a baby.
  44. Some people think I'm easy and a push-over.
  45. I've been told I have a good singing voice, but I have no yearnings to become a singer.
  46. I was a drag king for 2 years until I moved back home.
  47. I think all of my aunts and uncles I've met are fabulous people.
  48. My mom is one of my favourite people in the entire world. I hope she never loses weight.
  49. When I turned 10, my goal was to reach 100, just to see if I could reach 3 digits.
  50. The one thing I fear/hate is something I can't even mention here, because just thinking of it freaks me out.
  51. I never use to think I was a lesbian because I believed the stereotypes.
  52. The hi-lights of my life are when I'm cast in a movie/play.
  53. The best part of 1997 was when I was in Montreal for the Just For Laughs festival in the theatresports competition, and I saw so many famous people. I also grew to hate Rosanne at a gala in honor of her, and Mike Macdonald when he told me to get the fuck out of his face.
  54. My handwriting is terribly illegible.
  55. I absolutely love teddybears, especially if they have soft fur.
  56. I've been in 3 car accidents, both when my mom was behind the wheel, and another time when a co-worker was driving me home.
  57. I've never had a driver's license. I attempted to get a learner's permit in my teens, but I kept failing. I hate when people think I should have one.
  58. I became a vegan when I was 27. I was coughing to the point of feeling strangled, and the doctor took some x-rays and said, "Well, you don't have cancer or tb, but there's something in there". So he told me to avoid: Pork, Dairy, Eggs, Peanut Butter and Seafood. I don't miss seafood at all, but I eventually decided to become a vegan and my doctor advised some books for me to read.
  59. My favorite dishes involve pasta, rice or potatos.
  60. I absolute loath carrot juice and tomato juice, especially the latter, for it grosses me out when it's in my mouth.
  61. I hate the taste of beer, but I've drunken it before.
  62. I saw,"Il Postino" at the theatre, and fell in love with the Italian lanuage; I've wanted to learn Italian and someone suggested to get an Italian lover. Hmmm.....
  63. Places I've been: Minneapolis, Seattle, Vancouver, Edmonton, Montreal, Thompson (Manitoba),Calgary, Banff, Jasper, Kamloops, Jamaica and Victoria.
  64. Favorite Subject in School: Gym & Drama.
  65. Hated Subject in School: Social Studies and anything historical.
  66. I saw "Roots" when I was a kid and it traumatized me, and I hate when white people try to bring it up as a topic of conversation.
  67. I'm not a big fan of movies with black people being slaves or maids and all that.
  68. I use way too much salt and sugar in my food.
  69. I'm lactose intolerannt.
  70. I've never had an STD.
  71. Pets We've Had: Black & White Lab puppy named Blackie until we changed it to Trixie because the white kids loved shouting out his name; another simiar dog named Trixie; a black & white cat named Sam who kept springing at me whenever I met it's eyes.
  72. I use to have a fascination with rocks and peeling branches.
  73. A friend of mine once accused me of having no personality or a real thought in my head.
  74. If I never moved from Vancouver, I'd still be a heavy pot smoker.
  75. I love violent movies and cartoons.
  76. The last time I was in love was the last time I had a healthy appetite for food.
  77. I love seeing movies alone.
  78. I fluctuated between atheist and agnostic when I was 19, starting in philosophy class.
  79. I envy workaholics.
  80. My room is always messy.
  81. My Dresser Drawer Arrangement: blacks,whites, colors, underwear/socks, junk and winter.
  82. I love black shoes, especially boots and masculine ones. I have a couple of heels.
  83. My favourite drink: Presiden't Choice Jamaican-style Ginger Beer.
  84. Favorite Food: Chinese Vegetarian!
  85. Favorite Older Brother Memory: I had a bag of marbles, but I lost them in every game I played. When my brother asked me what happened to them, I told him, and he won them back for me.
  86. Favorite Younger Brother Memory: He took an art class but was busy with work that he had me do his art work for him. On 2 of them, one of an old woman and another of a beefed-up car, he got a 9/10. He bought me some danishes as a thank-you and was looking at me, like he was pleased.
  87. I use to love reading horror fiction, and even got an autograph from Clive Barker at a book signing, but now I love referrence and non-fiction.
  88. I hate when people forget my birthday.
  89. After my heart was broken in '96, I lost my appetite for food, and when I thought I was going to die, I just laid there, waiting to fade away. I don't think I've ever really been in love since.
  90. I wear a size 10 shoe, although I think my feet shrunk to a 9.5.
  91. Once, when I was about 12-13, it took my family and I a whole day to find me a decent pair girl's winter boots, until we went back to the original choice of men's boots.
  92. I don't mind porn, but I get bored of it after awhile.
  93. I prefer lesbian porn over girl-on-girl porn.
  94. I wish my feet were smaller.
  95. I sometimes wish I were asexual.
  96. The one thing I look forward to to getting older is having a deeper voice, like Bea Arthur and Suzanne Pleshette.
  97. This list has taken me 1.5 hours to do, and has been revised.
  98. I have skinny arms, and I like them.
  99. If I had to choose a sense of humour over beauty, I could afford to do without beauty.
  100. There's so much I don't want to put in this diary, and I haven't told anyone I know as of this date that I have this.

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